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Writer's pictureJeanette Stark

Let No One Put Asunder

I was the flower girl in a wedding when I was about 3 years old. I have faint memories of the ceremony. I still have the flower basket, packed away somewhere.


I remember the bride gifting me a tall plastic “piggy” bank, a poodle in blue, standing on its hind feet and a bow in its hair. (I also remember it did not have a plug to pull when the bank got full, so one of my parents eventually had to cut a hole in the bottom to release my wealth.)


Weddings.


Some weddings are very traditional and others, not so much. I remember verbiage such as "I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."


There usually is some reading of 1 Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter. And then the pastor might ask if there are any objections to the wedding, hopefully no one speaks up and then he, or she, might wrap it up by saying, “I now pronounce you man and wife; what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You may kiss your bride.” They kiss, making it official, and everyone cheers.


Have you ever wondered about that phrase? “put asunder”.


According to Merriam-Webster ‘asunder’ is to be apart from each other. To be torn apart or simply have distance between and no husband and wife should ever experience division or distance.


Where do we get that expression? The Bible.


In fact, the word is used dozens of times, but I want to look at just one and this one in the very context of marriage.

“And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;


“And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.


“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?


“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,


“And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?


“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:1-6 NKV


The Pharisees are trying to trick Him with a question about divorce. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” verse 3 NIV


And Jesus lovingly refers back to creation. If there is any doubt about our Creator’s intention and design, look to the creation story.


“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4-6 NIV


The Pharisees are not satisfied with His answer. Afterall, they are there to trick Him.


“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”


“Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7-9 NIV


No, God’s plan was never for man and woman, once married, to divorce. He knew the pain divorce would bring. He knew the pain separation would bring. He understood what we needed to have, and give, peace, joy and stability to ourselves and our families.


“He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.” Matthew 19:4-6 The Message Bible


by Jeanette Stark – Thursday, July 20, 2023

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