God Honored Prayer

I had asked God for something very specific in the days leading up to Wendell's passing. I pleaded with Him to prevent it from happening on December 22, Hannah's birthday. She and Wendell were so close. She had been part of our family since we brought here into our home at the age of seven, and now at the age of 19 their bond was undeniable. I could not bear the thought of her special day being forever marked by such profound sadness. I also asked God to spare Christmas Day. I wanted the joy of that sacred holiday to remain untarnished, not overshadowed by grief. And then, I asked Him again: please not on New Year's Day. A new year should feel like a celebration of beginnings, not the memory of such an ending.

God honored that prayer.

Wendell took his last breath on January 2, 2021; four years ago, today. It was in our home, in our bedroom, surrounded by family and his best friend, Russ. It was hard; it was so hard. Yet, there was peace in knowing that God had listened to the desires of my heart, even in those moments of anguish.

After he passed and while we were still gathered around him in the bedroom, I fetched my Bible and read aloud the passage from 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18:

"Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words."

These verses are some of my favorite promises from God’s Holy Word. There is assurance there. There is hope there! There is promise there.

Time has played its tricks, as it always does. Sometimes, it feels like just last year. Other times, it feels like decades have passed. And occasionally, it feels like someone else’s life entirely. But in the time that has come and gone, I have changed in ways I never imagined; truly. The growth has been incredible. If I sit quietly and truly think about it, it almost feels unreal.

Wendell was a hardworking man. He ran his own fence-building company with pride and dedication. At home, he took on so much; he loved grocery shopping and kept the kitchen spotless. He made sure the laundry never piled up. He handled everything with ease, and I relied on him for so many of those day-to-day responsibilities! After he was gone, I had to learn to do those things myself. I had to step into roles that had always been his. And I did.

I have discovered I am capable of so much more than I ever thought possible. I have learned to enjoy things I used to dislike, even grocery shopping. And in the most significant act of independence yet, with very little help, I packed, sorted, gave away, threw away, and prepared my house to go on the market. I moved entirely to Alaska, bringing my dog and two cats with me. I did it all on my own. I am intentionally writing a new chapter in my life’s story.

When I look back, I see not just the grief and the loss but also the incredible strength and growth that came from it. Wendell’s passing changed me, but his love and the life we built together also prepared me for this journey.

Four years later, I am still moving forward, step by step, carrying his memory with me. As I honor this day, I remember the love, the lessons, and the legacy he left behind. And I find comfort in knowing that one day, we will meet again.

by Jeanette Stark – Thursday, January 2, 2025